Donald Trump is President-elect of the United States.

Political analysts – and indeed, everyone who would call themselves left-leaning – are stunned and trying to figure out how this bigoted juggernaut came to be.Fundamentally, we need to be more compassionate to people who think differently. This requires stepping out of echo chambers and engaging with them as people, not as automatic enemies or idiots.

The Left likes to think of itself as benevolent and just and correct – but so often it comes across as smug, arrogant and condescending.

The Left likes to demand respect and compassion and open-mindedness from the Right and centrists, but baulks at the prospect of treating them with that same respect, because Leftists believe they are so right about everything that their behaviour has immunity.

Just because you might be correct about something doesn’t mean you’ve permission to wield your righteousness as a weapon against those who either oppose you or don’t understand you. Lefties like to think they’re above this, but they’ve demonstrated that they aren’t. The US election results and the political climate across the globe have only reinforced that this attitude and approach need reformation.

There are, of course, those bigots who won’t ever change, even if you jam an ice pick of logic into their skulls. These people usually benefit from the status quo, and their diatribe should be treated accordingly, especially if they’re virulent in their expression.

About two weeks ago, I met this 20-year-old guy at my local cafe and we got to chatting. Our conversation occasionally became heated, but for the most part, we managed to talk for about two-and-a-half hours about a range of topics within politics. He was very earnest about his opinions and his worldview.

He’s studying politics at university and talked proudly about his job assisting a Liberal MP. His ambitions are rooted in tradition, he said. He wants a good career and a big family. He also thinks gay people are unfit parents, that we shouldn’t be allowed to marry, that refugees should be returned and that the Syrian crisis is a load of horseshit and is destroying Europe. He talked about gangs of rapist refugees prowling the streets of Germany, and the awful stories he’d heard of gay parents abusing their children. He said the only newspaper worth reading is The Australian. He votes Liberal, is devoutly religious and thinks abortion should be illegal.

In short, we have diametrically opposed worldviews and beliefs – yet we managed a civil conversation. He even seemed to come around a little to the idea that perhaps homosexuals aren’t deranged child abusers whose only reason for wanting to adopt or have children is to recruit them or prey on them.

I was the first gay person he’d ever met.

I’m sure he’d run into a few. I doubt any of them felt comfortable enough or cared enough, considering his views, to reveal themselves to him.

Throughout our entire conversation, I felt myself getting angry – but I also figured, he’s young, he’s open-minded enough to be talking to me and asking me questions about my life. He liked to think of himself as philosophically minded – I can only hope that leads him to continually and critically evaluate his views and beliefs throughout his life. I saw him again a few days ago; he stopped me on the street to say hi and ask how I was.

The people who the Left like to label as idiot savages are actually capable of reason and understanding, if only given the chance. Beating someone over the head repeatedly and wearing them down into submission never works for long. The fatigue becomes anger, the divide deepens, and through that shattered fissure emerges a charismatic narcissist, poised to fan the flames and ride a wave of populist rhetoric into power. It’s happened so many times throughout history.

It’s a shame the Left doesn’t do enough to practise what it preaches. I’m not suggesting you should let people stand on your neck for the sake of peace – I’m saying that it’s not enough to be impotently angry, you need to align your behaviour with your ideals or stop fucking talking.

This Week:

On Wednesday November 16,head over to Slyfox in Enmore for Birdcage Rewind, a free party celebrating 20th century queerness with DJs Cunningpants, Teen Spirit, Nicholas Birdcage and more bringing you hits of the ’90s and ’00s.

On Saturday November 19, Heaps Gay is hosting its secret Carpark Party somewhere in Marrickville. The venue will be announced a day before on the event’s Facebook page. There won’t be any presale; tickets are $15 on the door. Artists, DJs and musicians will all be announced right before the party, and there’ll be a special surprise international guest attending too.

On Sunday November 20, The Gender Centre is hosting the Transgender Day of Remembrance at Harmony Park in Surry Hills. It will be an occasion to commemorate transgender and gender-diverse individuals who have been murdered or suffered violence and discrimination as a result of transphobia. The event aims to empower the community and promote greater empathy and understanding while challenging prejudices and stereotypes, in an attempt to provide the chance for greater understanding in a safe, respectful space. There will be an outdoor film screening of The Trans List [above], hosted by Queer Screen, followed by a candlelight vigil and walk to Taylor Square, led by Trans Sydney Pride.

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