On Tuesday April 28, professional wrestler and media personality Hulk Hogan held a press conference in Melbourne’s Federation Square to make a major announcement. Wrestling fans everywhere watched with bated breath as the 61-year-old made his announcement.
Hogan’s announcement was that he would be the general manager for the upcoming WWE Live tour of Australia. It wasn’t what we all truly wanted, deep inside: The Hulk Hogan Australian Tour, on which he performs his albumHulk Rulesin full every night. Because Hulk Hogan has a side career as a rock star. Yup.
Hulk Hogan is a lot of things. He’s a Hall of Fame professional wrestler and six-time WWE champion. He’s acted in such cinematic classics as Rocky III, Mr. Nanny and Santa With Muscles. And he even was a reality television star with his hit show Hogan Knows Best. But for some reason, there is one aspect of his eclectic and prolific career that remains underlooked; and that is the album Hulk Rules by Hulk Hogan & The Wrestling Boot Band.
Some of you may doubt the musical expertise of the Hulkster, which is foolish of you. It’s a little-known fact that despite being a world-class athlete, Hogan is also an accomplished bass player.
He has even said in interviews that Lars Ulrich asked him to play bass in Metallica (which Lars may or may not have flat out denied), and that he offered to join The Rolling Stones. But sadly, those phone calls never came, and he had to stick to his day job.
The album was released in 1995 by Select Records. This was during a decline in Hogan’s popularity within professional wrestling, but little did we know that his musical career was about to blow up. Hulk Rules charted at number 12 on the Top Kid Audio Charts.
In the liner notes it states that, “Hulk rocks, Hulk raps, Hulk sings a poignant ballad”.
So, let’s go through those claims one by one, shall we?
Now if Hulk is able to (allegedly) audition for Metallica, the man must know his way around a little bit of rock’n’roll. And some of the songs on this album are heavier than Andre The Giant. Opening track ‘Hulksters In The House’ is a straight-up jam that includes the insightful lyrics “When the going gets tough, the tough get rough” and “Hey hey, ho ho, come on, let’s go”.
The album also features ‘American Made’, an over-the-top hot-blooded red, white and blue song that Hogan used as a entrance theme in WCW. It unfortunately doesn’t hold a candle to the classic WWE theme ‘Real American’ – an entrance theme that featured more red, yellow and flexing than should ever be allowed.
And while this rocking and rolling is all well and good, it’s not really the main course of this album. No – if this album was a fine dinner, the fist-in-the-air rock songs were only the entree, and the main course would be the Hulkster dropping some hot fire for all his Hulkamaniacs out there.
It’s hard to point out what exactly inspired Hulk Hogan to get in on the rap game. I am sure he was inspired by all the greats; Run-D.M.C., Public Enemy, Biggie and 2Pac. And on the song ‘Hulkster’s Back’ (from where is not clear) we get to hear those influences come to life.
But now it’s time for dessert. You’ve listened to this album and said, “Woah, not only can the Hulkster jam on the bass, but he can drop dope rhymes like it’s nobody’s business.” Well, we’re here to tell you that there is a little bit more.
Because the man with the 24-inch pythons for arms also has a 24-inch heart.
Which is never more evident than in the ballad ‘Hulkster In Heaven’. It’s a four-minute track that tugs at the heartstrings, all about a little Hulkamaniac who is no longer with us. Listen below (after you go grab some tissues).
This year celebrates the 20th anniversary of this fantastic recird, and yet there has not been a single announcement about a Anniversary Deluxe triple-LP limited re-release of the album. But if the millions upon millions of Hulkamaniacs around the world can inspire him to bodyslam Andre The Giant at Wrestlemania III, I am sure we can convince him to come out of musical retirement for one final world tour.
Wait, Eurovision is soon, right?
