Succ on these excellent Dyson Cyber Monday deals

At this point, Dyson’s are less of a vacuum cleaner and more of a cultural touchstone. Never has there been a greater, less offensive ice-breaker topic than Dyson vacuum cleaner discourse. If there has ever been one consumerist good than has the power to close the generational divide, it’s a Dyson. Truly one of humanity’s greatest triumphs.

Unfortunately, the mighty beasts are pretty pricey, and us hapless Gen Z’s are oft left to rely on our older, slightly more cashed-up housemates to bring in the wireless beauties. However, today may just be the day you can make your perfectly hoovered dreams a reality. It’s Cyber Monday honey and capitalism is making us its bitch. Suss the goods on display below.

The cheapest vacuum on the market is their Light Ball Multi Floor +, which has dropped from $599 to $399. It’s kind of a thicc boy and evokes a similar aesthetic to a Bionicle but that may just be the vibe you’re after.

Next cab off the trank is the v8 Origin, which has copped a massive slashing from $749 to $449. This is the vacuum my housemate so graciously bestowed upon our residence and I couldn’t smoke it harder. Honestly, this delicious creation has given me a new lease on life. It’s perfect for all your extortionately priced inner-city apartments with art deco furnishings and absolutely no storage space. Bellisimo.

If you’re really looking to splash out, the v11 Torque Drive is down from $1,099 to $848. I don’t know what the difference between this and the v8 Origin is because I’m too god damn lazy to read through the specs but the pipe is pink which is sick.

They’ve also got their Hot+Cool Fan Heater on sale from $599 t0 $398. Another thing my housemate has blessed me with that I had no idea cost so damn much. I’m really living in a blissful utopia and this entire article that was initially supposed to be a soulless, capitalist void has turned into an open letter on why I love my housemate.

If you’re not so much a house appliance guy and more into making sure your locks are always looking primo, they’ve knocked a hundy off those really chic hairdryers. I mean, it’s Summer in Australia

There are a bunch of other things on sale, head to the website and treat yourself.

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