As far as reality TV goes, last night was the Christmas day of trashy and addictive shows – we were blessed with the MAFS, Survivor and Australian Idol premieres. All of which played out in exactly the same time slot.
While which to watch from the smorgasbord of shows was a tough choice for some, for me it was a no brainer – I’ve been counting down the days until the new season of MAFS started for months now.
Fortunately, those saucy producers over at Endemol Shine didn’t let me down and provided a juicy episode packed full of both drama and, erm, love (?).
Through the marathon long ep, I took down notes of thoughts I had while it played out, which you can dive right into below.
44 thoughts I had during the first episode of MAFS season 10
1. We’re back and we’re kicking off with a humble brag about how popular season nine was. The underlying message here is that we’re lucky to live in Australia because we have the best MAFS in the world.
2. The voice-over says that MAFS is back and “like always the sole focus remains unchanged, to help people find true love.” I’m actually LOLing.
3. Okay, Lyndall is super sweet. Producers, please don’t break my heart and match her with a villain.
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4. On second thought, did Carrie Bickmore quit The Project to come on MAFS? And is moonlighting as Lyndall?
5. Here’s the sex-crazed mum we’ve seen in the ads and she’s, you guessed it, talking about sex. Mishel 2.0?
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6. The Aussie carpenter Cameron seems sweet. Although when he asks where the “stubbies” are I’m pretty sure he’d rather be sipping a bush chook than a Stone and Wood.
7. Here comes Jesse AKA the grungier and dark-haired version of Jed from The Bachelor.
8. We’re back at the Bachelor party and there are two guys who keep talking but I swear we haven’t been introduced to them (my online sleuthing tells me they’re Olli and Adam). Did I… Miss something?
9. Okiiii Duncan. Where was this guy when they were auditioning The Bachelor leads for this year?
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10. Harrison has been on screen for 0.04868 seconds and I already can’t stand him. His cocky opening line of “bit disappointed that didn’t take me over to the hens,” says it all, really.
11. Back at the hen’s party and Mel’s talking about sex again. Let’s play a drinking where we have to take a shot every time she mentions sex. Actually, on second thought I don’t have a death wish.
12. Oh wow, here she goes again. Melissa is giving, “I’m not like a regular mum, I’m a cool mum” vibes.
13. Melinda walked in and Bronte’s eyes lit up when she recognized another one of her species. AKA an influencer.
14. Oh wow. Melissa just told Melinda that young is what she’s “been fucking on a weekend basis”. While Melinda’s clear disgust wasn’t that unwarranted, I’m kinda hoping Melissa chucks a Davina and hooks up with all the influencer’s hubbies.
15. Melissa’s face when Melinda told her she probably wouldn’t want to “fuck Thor” looked like someone had told her about dead puppies. Someone give this woman a spin off already.
16. John Aitken’s here, and that smug smile clearly says just one thing, he’s proud of the chaotic grooms he’s booked this season and is looking forward to his rating bonus.
17. I’m sorry, what? 100,000 auditioned in the hope of finding love? No, sister, 100,000 people wanted a blue tick on Insta and a veneers sponsorship.
18. Lyndall: “If I’m going to find the love of my life they’re probably exactly the type of person who’d apply for MAFS” – a sentence I never thought I’d hear.
19. Ok, we’ve got our first couple, Lyndall and Cameron and they’re giving me major siblings or dating vibes.
20. Great, Harrison’s back and he’s as douchey as ever. He tells the camera that he fell in love with his ex from the moment he met her. That poor woman.
21. Bronte is very pretty but she’s giving Katy Perry with crazy eyes.
22. Nice one producers, we have our sweet couple for those innocent people who still have faith in MAFS, and our drama couple for those of us here for the ~*scandals*~.
23. Lyndall, you’re a doll, but do me a solid and put a brush through those stiff curls before you walk down the aisle, I’m begging you.
24. Cameron’s on his way to his wedding in a truck with his mate’s business name plastered on the side for a free plug. Didn’t they have a kangaroo available for rent that day?
25. Lyndall and Cameron are adorable but I’m still traumatised from last year and have my fingers and toes crossed that they don’t turn into an Olivia and Jackson.
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26. 21 week old little boy – sorry what? Oh my god it’s a dog. Damnit, you got me with your dad joke Cameron.
27. Welp, Lyndall, you might not fuck spiders, but I know someone who would – Melissa.
28. Back to the drama couple – I have a feeling that Bronte’s sister is going to be this year’s Levi (Brent’s hot groomsman from last year) and that we’ll see her pop up on Love Island this year.
29. Ok Harrison, chill out with the aftershave, Cameron can probably smell it from his “rural property” 800kms away from civilisation.
30. The first time Harrison’s not being a douchebag is when he sees how hot Bronte is.
31. Ines, I mean Bronte, please don’t tell Harrison he is hot, his ego doesn’t need it.
32. Oh, this “biggest scandal ever” is about to go down where we find out that Harrison was hooking up with a Bachelor contestant who was at the wedding.
33. Ok wait, I thought he dated this chick in the pink dress, but turns out it’s her friend he dated who is young, blonde and was on the latest season of The Bachelors… OH MY GOD LET IT BE JESS NAVIN.
34. Nm, did some googling and it’s some girl called Abby that I can’t even recall.
35. Wait. Harrison told his girlfriend outside the show, “Imagine if I got you pregnant before I went on MAFS. What a scandal?” 😮 😮 TBH I’d be here for it and I’m sure the producers prob would be too.
36. Oh god, you couldn’t even write this. Harrison just said he had a crush on this girl “for so long”. And she’s 20 now. He’s 32. ?????????
37. Pink dress is here with the receipts. But the screenshot she showed of Harrison packing for the show looks like he’s putting his stuff in baby cradles.
38. I, for one, am very impressed with Bronte’s reaction when pink dress tells her about Harrison’s f-boy ways. She’s giving women supporting women.
39. Quick drama break – what exactly does Bronte’s job title of Online Beauty Educator mean? A beauty YouTuber?
40. Ooohh Bronte’s confronting Harrison over the “20 year old” he’s seeing on the outside.
41. Harrisons’ red face is symoblism of the red flags he’s been giving off all episode long.
42. Hold up. Did Harrison just accuse Bronte of blindsiding, then gaslight her, then get defensive and then raise his voice at her?
43. Sorry, It’s getting late and this is a marathon episode so I started to zone out for a few seconds but Brontes death look at Harrison when he said “I knew I’d marry you from the minute I met you” really snapped me back
44. That’s all folks, can’t wait for the shit show that tomorrow’s episode will bring!
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