I’m a bees dick away on giving up on trying to succeed in a meritocratic society and dedicating my life to working out, freshening up my balayage, and snagging myself a rich hubby with a gorgeous Double Bay dwelling. Surely no career could ever be as satisfying as retiring to a life of wearing nothing but Lulu Lemon, owning a cavoodle and pushing your children Ignatious and Xavier around in a Bugaboo. These pipe dreams of mine may soon be a reality thanks to Tinder. Whilst we’re all under lockdown, the dating app has made its Passport feature free to all users.
Tinder Passport allows users to swipe in locations where they are not. So instead of only being subjected to men in Sydney flexing a freshly caught snapper, I now have the opportunity to match with suitors from Cairns holding up carp. I’m ready to live out my own Before Trilogy.
Essentially from here until April 30th you’ll be able to drop a pin on the map and swipe, like, and hopefully match to your hearts content. It’s mandatory isolation, everybody is bored and chaotically horny. Consider this an opportunity for you to practice shooting your shot with a stranger that means absolutely nothing to you, before you exit the cocoon of self-isolation and are free to embrace IRL love.
