Great news for all my Melbourne homies, From 11:59pm on Tuesday, you’ll be able to microdose ketamine with five of your nearest and dearest instead of on your lonesome. The state has finally announced that a few coronavirus restrictions will be lifted.
The state will allow Victorians to invite five people into their homes. Groups of ten will also be allowed to gather outside for activities such as hiking, fishing, walking and kicking a ball. Great news for all those with 10-people fishing crews.
Professional sports teams will also be allowed to start training from tomorrow, in anticipation for games to restart in the near future.
“I know this will come as a welcome relief, but I need to be clear. Although these are our first steps back towards normalcy – they are not an invitation to host a dinner party every night of the week,” The Premier shared.
He stressed that five visitors should be friends and family, and we’re super thankful that he clarified because I was in the midst of organising a roster of all the acquaintances and partners of friends to invite over for a tidy bit of nosh.
“That’s where it’s really hurt, people not being able to connect to the people who mean the most to them.”
The Premier announced that the government will soon unveil plans to return kids to classrooms, confirming that the final weeks of term two will be taught remotely “for the purposes of certainty”.
“We now believe that a gradual, staged return to face-to-face learning is safe, cautious and appropriate, given the testing we’ve done and the circumstances we face. Today’s not the day to announce the details.”
Cafes and restaurants table service restrictions are to remain in place. The rules are set to be reviewed in three weeks, with a possibility of them being relaxed in June.
“I think takeaway will be a feature for a long time,” he said.
