It’s Monday, the best day of the week to absolutely SLAY at work and do your best job possible while everyone else is easing into it. Now is the time to go and make the company you work for very, very rich so that you can afford the rising cost of microwave meals. Or you can take it easy, whatever.

Is there much happening today? No, but I’m still here with my breezy, conversational tone, filling you in anyway, so the least you could do is read until the end. Harry Styles has been papped getting his mack on with Emily Ratajkowski, influencer couple Tammy Hembrow and Matt Poole have finally discussed their split and Succession Season 4 is out, whoop-dee-doo!

Harry and Emily

Here’s something that probably did appear on your 2023 Bingo card: Harry Styles being papped pashing Emily Ratajkowski. I don’t even know what to say about it, it doesn’t interest me in the slightest, they’re single, all power to them. The going for it in public thing is a bit odd, I didn’t think the passion “took” celebrities to the extent that they need to lunge at their date up against a parked car? I thought they were so up their own clackers that it was more of a business arrangement. Unless they actually need more publicity than they’re already getting? Surely not. The guy sold out every stadium in Australia. It’s really quite baffling.

I guess the big question if true: I wonder if they’ll share wardrobes? It’s time for Harry to really turn the risque outfits up to 10. I want to see a G-string poking out from the top of his rhinestone-studded athleisure shorts.

Tammy and Matt

And on the other end of the celebrity spectrum, the ones who definitely would like more publicity, a high-profile influencer couple has finally come forward to admit they’ve split.

Replying to a comment on her Instagram about where her baby-daddy was, Hembrow clarified, “the first one or the current one?” Kidding, sorry.

She replied: “Some people are just not meant to be together no matter how hard they try. We are much better as friends, not that it’s anyone’s business.”

Sorry Tammy, but if you’re going to glorify your relationship for content, so that you have enough eyeballs on your feed to allow you to flog every product under the sun, I think it becomes our business. Your bu$ine$$ is our business. 

In all seriousness, I feel a bit bad for Hembrow, this is the second relationship she’s had that ended shortly after she had kids. Perhaps the multiple million dollars in the bank account takes the sting away a bit, but it’s still a rough go.

What’s Out Today

Phwoar it’s an absolutely massive today for content, there’s Succession Season 4 and… oh that’s about it. It’s also world paella day, for what that’s worth. I tried to make a paella once and it didn’t turn out well. In hindsight, I think my mistake was getting distracted watching people fall over in internet videos while I was meant to be ‘stirring constantly for 30 mins’. That’s a big ask for a dish though, and I admit that I didn’t take the instructions seriously enough.

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