Allen’s are on the precipice of fucking up the Australian lolly game. The brand has announced that its cult Snakes Alive lollies will be given the sour treatment.
Quite simply, the Snakes Alive Sourz are identical to the original except their dusted in that weird sour chemical shit that we are all a serf to. I genuinely have no idea, and no desire to learn, what that granular sour substance is. All I do know is that it is forevermore tied into the DNA of my palette.
It’s possibly the only food sensation that I can taste without eating anything. Subsequently making it the only meal I can enjoy when LARPing that scene from Hook where they’re all eating imaginary food.
A bag of these stinging slithers will set you back $2.95 and will be flogged exclusively at Woolworths.
I look at this welcome addition to the Allen’s canon and think that perhaps this is their attempt at PR retribution after besmirching this world with their heinous collaboration with OAK milk.
If you were so fortuitous as to miss that collab, let me ruin your day for you. Back in October 2019 — which feels like an aeon ago at this point — OAK committed a crime that should carry a death sentence by releasing three kinds of milk inspired by Allens lollies Redskins, Jaffas and Chokito.
They then backed it up in April this year with three more lolly-inspired milks with arguably less menacing auras, that still sit firmly on the chaotic evil spectrum. Peppermint Crisp, Fantales, and Allen’s Pineapples.
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In other sweet-adjacent news, Natural Confectionary Co. recently unveiled their debut foray into the vegan market. The brand has released completely cruelty-free fruit gummies.
The gummies boast a spectrum of flavours like apple, blackcurrant, peach, pineapple and raspberry will all be totally cruelty-free. Without a hint of artificial colouring or gelatin.
