Turns out making bread that doesn’t taste like shit is harder than I anticipated. I’d rather just drop an unjustifiable amount of cash on getting a loaf of Iggy’s sourdough delivered to my door than deal with the crippling feelings of failure induced by shitty loaf after shitty loaf of homemade bread.

After discovering I did not have the natural oeuvre of Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck, I considered refocussing my attention to churning butter or something else that would look incredibly chic whilst wearing a prairie dress. However, the biscuit overlords over at Arnotts have thrown a delicious, creamy, spanner in the works. For the first time ever, they’ve done a Monte Carlo recipe reveal.

We know how important our biscuits are to Australians, both locally and living abroad, in helping them come together with family and friends and feeling connected,” shared culinary chef and biscuit mastermind Vanessa Horton.

“That’s why I’ve personally adapted and tested each of the “secret” recipes we’re revealing to the public, so they can find new ways to come together and share a biscuit, in this time of need.”

Honestly, the recipe is unbelievably simple. It also looks as though it could easily be transformed into a vegan delicacy — a sexy dollop of Nutelex, a flax egg and a plant-based milk alternative of your choice? You’re bloody cheering.

Check out the recipe and process below.

Arnott’s Monte Carlo Biscuit Secret Recipe

Prep time: 10 mins
Cook time: 14 mins

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Ingredients

Biscuits

125gm butter, softened
½ cup (125g) caster sugar
½ tsp finely grated lemon rind
1 tsp vanilla essence
2 tbsp golden syrup
1 egg
40g desiccated coconut
1½ cups (240g) plain flour

Cream Filling

60g butter
¾ cup (150g) pure icing sugar
2 tsp milk
Raspberry jam

Method

Preheat oven to 170°C.

Line a baking sheet with baking paper.

In a medium mixing bowl place butter, sugar, lemon rind, vanilla and golden syrup. Beat for approx. one minute. Add egg and beat for a further minute. Do not overbeat. Stir in sifted flour and coconut until well combined.

Place half the dough mixture on a piece of baking paper and wrap to form a log. Repeat with remaining dough mixture.

Place in refrigerator for 15 minutes or until slightly firm. Using a serrated knife, cut into 8mm slices. Place on the baking sheet and bake for 14 minutes or until golden.

Allow to cool on the tray for five minutes then place on a cooling rack to cool.

For the cream filling, place butter, sugar and milk in a medium bowl and beat until light and fluffy.

Sandwich cooled biscuits with jam and cream.