Lindt chocolate. It’s the fancy chocolate that knows it’s better than us. And we accept that. It’s is the comfort snack to end all snacks.
If it had an OnlyFans it would be premium content. The sounds you make when you devour it are NSFW. Your nan always has a box at Christmas. The Swiss chocolate simply puts all other chocolate in the shade.
We thought that with much of the country still locked down because of COVID-19 (we’re looking at you Melbourne), there was never a better time to rank Lindt chocolate. When there’s hours to kill stuck indoors, you can’t be expected to snack on cucumber all day.
Our list goes from God-tier to Pretty Darn Good because, let’s face it, Lindt have yet to make a bad chocolate in 175 years. Quite the record guys.
And yes, before you ask: we did taste all of these as ‘research’. It was the most difficult list to make, a proper chore…
All of the chocolate listed is available at Woolies and we reckon our list might make your mouth water so much that a trip there will be required this week. Sorry about that!
God-tier: Lindt Excellence Dark Chocolate Roasted Hazelnut
The clue’s in the name. Excellence. Lindt but even better. This is the one you pull out to impress a new partner. “Oh did I leave that Lindt Excellence Dark Chocolate Roasted Hazelnut out on the coffee table? That was an accident!” There are other ones in the Excellence range but that hint of hazelnut just gives it that extra kick.
Lindt Excellence
Heavenly: Lindt Lindor Chocolate Balls Assorted
This one’s a Christmas Classic. Assorted means there’s something for everyone. Drunk uncle needs some plain milk chocolate to calm him down? Check. Nan’s feeling crazy and wants to try Extra Dark? Check. They’ll be gone by the end of the night but who cares, it was one hell of a ride to get there.
Woolworths
Yummers: Lindt Excellence Dark Chocolate Chilli
This one’s the wild card. When you need a little hint of danger, Dark Chocolate Chilli’s there. Sweet n’ spicy. Light and darkness. Pair it with that new Scandinavian crime drama you’ve been meaning to watch.
Lindt Excellence
Scrumptious: Lindt Lindor Chocolate Balls Pistachio
Ok this is a controversial pick but pistachio is underrated. The nuttiness balances with the swirling chocolate in a divine way. The luxurious green packaging just looks good too.
Woolworths
Pretty darn good: Lindt Excellence Dark Chocolate Mint Intense
Mint chocolate. You either love it or hate it. There’s only one side of the debate we’re on though. The freshness of the flavour is overpowering, mixing so well with their dark chocolate.
Lindt Excellence
