If you’re a resident of Alabama and were considering flushing your meth down the toilet today, think again. Police in the US have warned people against flushing their drugs down the loo for fear it may create “meth-gators.”
Loretto police department offered these sage words of wisdom after they busted a suspected drug dealer, Andy Perry, attempting to offload 12 grams of meth, 24 fluid ounces of liquid meth and other drug paraphernalia through his toilet. The police took to Facebook to request citizens avoid following Perry’s suit.
“When you send something down the sewer pipe it ends up in our retention ponds for processing before it is sent downstream,” the post read. “Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth.”
“Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do.
Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama. They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help. So, if you need to dispose of your drugs just give us a call and we will make sure they are disposed of in the proper way.”
Alligators are frightening enough, but a meth-fuelled crocodilian sounds like a living nightmare. In an age where birds are falling out of the sky, bleeding from their eyeballs and taking solo Uber trips, the literal last thing we need is a reptile with a hankering for crank.
