Fairy Bread has come under the microscope after a petition was unearthed calling to rename the Australian party food staple over its “offensive” and “outdated” name.

The change.org petition was started by Alexis Chaise from Melbourne, it proposed that “fairy bread” be changed to “party bread” as the term “fairy” has been used to ‘belittle and oppress others’.

“The fact that Australians in 2021 are still using this word in the name of a children’s food is reprehensible”, the petition reads.

“I was shocked when I discovered at my cousin’s 5th birthday party that the children there were being taught to use the derogatory term of ‘fairy’ in regards to their party food.

“Bigotry is un-Australian, and so is Fairy bread. #BoycottFairyBread #TheNewFWord #FairyBreadisUnAustralian.”

I’m genuinely convinced that this new wave of renaming classic food petitions are being planted by journalists that have perfected the “nostalgic food + outrage = clicks” formula. Also, I don’t claim to be an etymologist but a quick Wikipedia skim-read tracks the genesis of the term “fairy bread” back to a Robert Louis Stevenson poem about literal fairies.

Last month, the internet was set ablaze after a petition for Streets’ gloriously campy Golden Gaytime ice cream to be renamed.

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“In 2021, Gay’s meaning primarily is related to sexuality. As a Gay man I have needed to fight to be myself, overcoming many things in my life, I am a proud Gay man,” the petition read. “As a part of the LGBTQIA+ community I believe my sexual identity is owned by me, not a brand and that the outdated meaning no longer applies. Isn’t it time for this double entendre to end?”

The petition referenced the recent string of Australian confectionaries and foods that have been renamed in the spirit of racial sensitivity. The likes of which include the actually offensive Red Skins, now known as Red Ripper, Chicocs now being named Cheekies and Coon Cheese becoming Cheer.

I’m tired.

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