The offices of ACON (formerly the AIDS Council of NSW) are adorned with an endless parade of posters depicting sad-looking young (and sometimes older) men with their heads in their hands, with some scaremongering “Are You Being Safe?” messaging underscoring the images.
In contrast, there is also an endless parade of posters depicting guys of all types having a grand old time, living with HIV. It ain’t a death sentence, and yeah, we’re all working hard to decrease the stigma.
Wonderfully enough, ACON recently launched a health program aimed at trans men – their sexual health has long been ignored, and this HIV prevention and general sexual health initiative couldn’t have come any sooner.
This is all great. It’s important; and as a community we need to look after one another.
Except for the fact it leaves out lesbians.
According to most sexual health clinics in Sydney (and ACON isn’t doing nearly enough, so it’s not off the hook), lesbians don’t have sex, and if they do, it’s not real sex. Their risk of HIV transmission is so low it hardly bears discussion. So they lob some dental dams at us and shrug their shoulders when we ask, “But how can I be safe? Am I safe?”
What is safe sex for lesbians? And why are so many of us completely unaware of how to practise it?
It comes down to community failure. Lesbians are either fetishised or ignored, and too often we find it difficult to crawl out of the shadow of AIDS. As awful as it sounds, we can’t seem to get enough attention. Lesbians can also get HIV. We can get AIDS. We can die from this shit, just like men. Yeah, our numbers are lower, but they’re still too high.
Our community leaders and our health practitioners need to talk to us, they need to care. Our sex is real and it carries risks – it’s about time we treated our sexual behaviour with the same scrutiny and seriousness as the rest of our community does with men.
I feel sometimes female sexuality as a whole is deemed too complicated to deal with. There seems to be a pervasive and dangerous attitude around the whole thing that says, “Well, it’s all just so hard to say, so let’s just hand out some slimy Glad Wrap and hope for the best.”
Thanks guys; no, really. I’ve been met with blank stares when I’ve asked queer doctors how to safely have sex with other women. More often than not, after the doctor’s short circuit, they snap back to reality and try to placate me with, “It’s not that risky. I mean, there’s a risk, but it’s low. So be careful, but also don’t worry.”
So if I want to clarify and ask, “How do I be careful?” I’m stonewalled with the same blank stare – the “wow, I’ve never really considered this” stare that I’m so disappointed to see, especially from community health practitioners. Seriously, you can rattle off 101 health complications from super-gonorrhoea at the drop of a hat, but turn into a gibbering toddler when I ask how to protect my sexual health?
Dr. Google can only do so much, and even then, it usually diagnoses some sort of exotic cancer. ACON is my last hope for any sort of campaign that addresses lesbian health in the near future. In the meantime, I would urge any of you to keep asking your doctors until they’re forced to pay attention. Don’t wait for your clit to fall off.
Sex can be risky for women who have sex with women too, so it’s time to introduce a new story to the narrative.
This Week:
On Friday December 9, head on down to the Imperial Hotel in Erskineville for Spice Girlthing. This massive party stretches over two levels, bringing you girl power for Girlthing’s last bash of 2016. Dress up as your fave Spice Girl for mass prizes. It’ll also feature Ariane, Nes, Cunningpants, Maple Behaviour, Dolly and more to be announced. Tickets are on sale now.
On Saturday December 10, Heaps Gay is putting on one of its famous car park parties for Christmas: Heaps Xmasy, hosted at the Portugal Club in Marrickville. There’ll be performances by Anna May Kirk, Zin Partnership, Groove Therapy and Radha La Bia, plus DJs Kimchi Princi, Ebony Boadu (Grls Grls Grls), Lucy Watson, Mira Boru & Cunningpants. Tickets available on the door.
Also on Saturday December 10, at a soon-to-be announced “intimate Inner West location”, Melbourne’s Danny Hotep and DJ Salmon Barrel fasten the mirror balls and ready the haze to bring you Misty Nights. Keep it disco, keep it queer. Good vibes from DJs Hani Hanbali and Brudo & Hux. Grab tix via Resident Advisor.
