Welcome to the BRAG’s weekly rundown of what’s hot in the coming seven days of cinematic releases. If you’re an Apple devotee (ugh), you’ll be happy to know your lord and saviour is back on the silver screen.
For the rest of us (i.e. Macbook owners who don’t bang on about it), there’s plenty of drama and romance to get us through the week. And it’s almost the end of Oscar season, so I can retire all of my biopic hatred and get back to recommending niche B-grade horror flicks.
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STEVE JOBS
The third film about the eponymous Apple patriarch in so many years, this one is set to be the most purely cinematic with blockbuster helmer Danny Boyle and talky smartarse Aaron Sorkin on board. Think The Social Network with less Trent Reznor and you’re on the right path.
Expect Sorkin’s rapid-fire intelligentsia to be fired off at machine-gun pace by Michael Fassbender‘s less-than-likeable monopolist, who is accompanied by Steve Wozniak (Seth Rogen), a fiery Joanna Hoffman (Kate Winslet) and Jeff Daniels fresh from The Newsroom. The latter is well versed in the Sorkin brand of dialogue and Boyle’s restless camera work should keep this repeat eulogy from staling.
It’s also a brazen defacation on efforts made by lesser filmmakers to tell the same story. Good thing? You decide.
tl;dr If only Ashton Kutcher still had The Butterfly Effect.
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OUR BRAND IS CRISIS
Sandra Bullock takes on Billy Bob Thornton in a titanic battle produced by George Clooney to see which former Oscar winner can act the hardest. Oh yeah, and coincidentally, they’re both white American political consultants for corrupt Bolivian presidential candidates.
While plenty of critics have been quick to praise Bullock’s characteristically excellent performance as ‘Calamity’ Jane Bodine, responses to the film overall have been underwhelming. But let’s not forget the man Bullock is backing for Bolivia is Joaquim de Almeida, who you may remember as the villainous Bucho from Robert Rodriguez’s Desperado.
tl;dr Bullock’s Bodine backs Bolivian boss… bitch? Or Bucho? That’s what it was. Bucho.
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ANOMALISA
Charlie Kaufman is undoubtedly one of the greatest and most divisive screenwriters of all time. Look at his goddamn rap sheet. The man’s nigh untouchable, having penned some of the most complex, hilarious and emotionally fulfilling movies of the last two decades. Now, like a couple of great directors before him, he’s turning his formidable skill to… puppets (link NSFW).
Kaufman teams up with stop-motion director Duke Johnson to craft this tale of a customer service expert (David Thewlis) who sees everyone as having the same facial features and voice (Tom Noonan); that is, until he meets Lisa (Jennifer Jason Leigh).
Once the critics get over congratulating themselves on calling it “the most human film of the year”, they may well dissect it as thoroughly as Kaufman’s work deserves.
tl;dr Synecdoche? Fuck yeah.
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THE CHOICE
Sorry, the trailer is spoiler city, but here’s an insider tip – trailers usually describe the entire plot when the production company behind them doesn’t believe the film will succeed. They believe knowing exactly what you’re in for means you’ll pay for a ticket. Prove them wrong?
Nicholas Sparks, as the author behind The Notebook and A Walk To Remember, has been coercing the tears of the easily emotionally manipulated and the scorn of others (i.e. me) for longer than Kaufman’s been making films. This one sees two people make “the choice” to fall in love, with presumably romantic and then heart-shreddingly disastrous consequences.
Instead of seeing this, you could watch Anomalisa and appreciate its honesty.
tl;dr The puppet says it best.
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LIFE OFF GRID
Doco time! Life Off Grid follows those who’ve chosen a life closer to nature in Canada’s illustrious wilds: generating their own electricity, growing their own food, and living the kind of self-sustaining lifestyles that Inner West residents have dreamed of since time immemorial.
These are not people who’ve sworn off Facebook for a year, but people who’ve taken their lives into their hands in a very literal sense. There’s drama aplenty in the prospect – as one off-gridder says, “If my power goes out, I fix it.”
An inspiration, at the very least, to use social media less, if not set your house on fire and fly to Canada.
tl;dr Embrace the new age, unclog your chakras and get back to nature.
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And now for THE VERDICT – maybe you only get the chance to see one of these flicks on the big screen, and you don’t wanna waste that night out. So, drum roll please…
The day I recommend anything – including outdoor activity – over a Charlie Kaufman film is the day I hand in my critic’s hat. And that day is never coming. I happen to like this hat.
Until next week!
